How to be someone people resonate with

Speaking
Written By Liam Sandford
Heart

Nobody cares about your content as much as you do. Whether you are speaking or writing you don’t automatically have a pass to someones attention. You have to earn it.

You are the centre of your universe — your brain makes everything about you. Other peoples brains make everything about them. This means your audience have the tendency to ignore anything that doesn’t automatically resonate because all they want is to be able to relate it back to themselves.

It’s not about you, it’s about your audience. You have heard me say this 1 million times. This should be the starting principle for all communication rather than ‘what do I want to say?’ — this means rewiring your brain. If you are to stand a chance being someone people resonate with you have to make it about them.

Be vulnerable

We live in a world where people want to show ‘their best life’ and show an external persona that does not reflect reality. People do not resonate with this — it just sets unrealistic expectations that they attempt to live up to. Instead, share the hidden realities behind your journey. Not just the successes but the failures too.

Showcase the journey, show the struggles and your audience will appreciate it. You are showing you are human rather than someone aiming to paint your life as only successful. This makes you easy to resonate with because everyone in your audience feels those struggles and challenges along their journeys too. Maybe their struggles are not the same, but it is easy to relate back to something your audience have directly experienced.

Tell unextraordinary stories

You might consider every day moments to be unextraordinary. You wake up, have breakfast, go to work, come home, cook dinner, watch TV, read, go to bed. Just things that you do on autopilot. Yet everyone else has the same experiences. If you can relate stories to unextraordinary moments you will be telling the audience their story using experiences that they directly understand.

When adding storytelling to your speaking and writing you tend to think of the extraordinary, but that is not always easy to resonate with. This is why some comedians are so successful. Think of Peter Kay and his misheard song lyrics — something everybody has experienced, and sure he is incredibly funny but the principle applies. Make it easy for the audience to see themselves in the story. Make them feel like you are telling their story.

Don’t be afraid to mess up

Worried about filler words? Falling over on stage? People not liking your content? It really does not matter. These ‘mess ups’ are a part of your story. They are part of what makes you human, and to be authentic and show who you really are.

If something does not go to plan steer into it. Laugh, brush it off, and continue. The ability to laugh at yourself is an important one when it comes to public speaking. Not everything will go right 100% of the time but that does not have to ruin the rest of your speaking performance. In fact, when you acknowledge it and move on people will resonate with you because you show you are like them — someone who is not perfect. Showing your imperfections makes you real, takes you down off a pedestal and makes you easy to resonate with.

Actionable takeaways

  • Be vulnerable and share the struggles, the journey and how you felt in each of the defining moments. This is to show your authentic self.

  • Share stories from unextraordinary moments — this is how you tell the audience their story.

  • If you mess up, laugh and move on. One moment does not have to ruin the whole day, and the audience will remember how well you dealt with that.

More from me


Liam Sandford
Previous

Why you need silence as a public speaker
Next

Why is public speaking so stressful?