Leverage the power of quiet confidence

SpeakingWriting
Written By Liam Sandford
person standing looking out at a lake

Quiet confidence is underrated. In a world that often prioritizes and overvalues being loud, being quiet can be overlooked. Yet, it is a skill that can lead to remarkable influence.

Being quietly confident is not about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being selective but intentional with what you say. In other words, you don’t shout about everything you do, know, or command attention, but you let your capability speak for itself. It’s the approach of being so good you can’t be ignored.

Your calmness commands attention and respect without the need for loud communication. Your intentionality with words means everything you say comes with a golden nugget that everyone takes notice of. Often quiet confidence is underestimated, but you can harness this superpower every single day.

Start Active Listening

Active listening is where quiet confidence starts. Listening to understand, observing to see where you can most add value, and delivering what is needed from the people in the room is quiet confidence. By truly engaging with others and absorbing what they say, you do something different to those who show loud confidence.

Loud communicators listen to respond, waiting for their opportunity to engage. Quiet communicators listen to understand before they provide their insight. This gives you the ability to tailor your communication on a person by person basis and ultimately build stronger relationships.

The deeper understanding you get from active listening can inform your own contributions, so when you do speak you add significant value that you know people want to hear. It’s not talking for the sake of it, but giving information based on what others have said to you. Listening and observation are at the core of quiet confidence.

Reflect More Than You Share

There is information constantly flying at people, either from people, social media, or other forms of media. People rarely have time to stop, reflect and switch off, but it is important for two reasons:

  • Important for you — time to recharge, observe, and reflect

  • Important for others — give them time to digest and think

In today’s world, people rarely stop. When you start reflecting more than you share, you spend more time calculating situations, reading the room, and understanding what is truly required. It enables you to add more value. It means that because you are quieter, when you do share people sit up and take notice of your contributions.

It is a deliberate approach. With quiet observation and reflection you gather a true picture of situations, not just what it looks like on the surface. That is information you can use to your advantage.

Get Comfortable with Silence

Most people are uncomfortable with silence. As a result they fill it with unnecessary words or actions. Embracing silence is a key piece of quiet confidence. Being at ease with moments of quiet, you enhance the observations you make.

Honestly, being comfortable with silence is the skill of being able to slow down or completely stop without your mind starting to race out of control. When you can think in those moments of silence you can be more intentional. One way to develop this is through meditation. Practicing the skill of noting thoughts but not letting them run wild in your head enhances your ability to actively listen, observe and be calm in chaotic environments. It also quiets any urge you have to speak for the sake of speaking.

Imagine being comfortable with silence. No need to come up with something to fill it, no awkward feeling if nothing is being said. It changes the game. You have more time to think when you are communicating or speaking in public.

Actionable takeaways

  • Practice active listening. Listen to understand, don’t listen to respond.

  • Set aside time each day for reflection, whether through journaling, meditation, or simply quiet time.

  • Challenge yourself to embrace moments of silence in conversations, resisting the urge to fill them and allowing them to unfold naturally.

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Liam Sandford
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