100 days of rejection

Speaking
Written By Liam Sandford
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Do you often find yourself in situations where it is hard to communicate? It feels like a challenge, it’s uncomfortable, and you are ready for the interaction to be over? This can be public speaking, or just any interaction with colleagues, new people or something out of your comfort zone.

It’s the racing heart and sweaty palms moment where you just want the floor to open up and swallow you.

There is a route out, but it’s not by staying clear of these situations altogether. In fact, that makes it worse. The solution is to steer into the uncomfortable feeling. This is exactly what Jia Jiang did.

Jia Jiang’s 100 Days of Rejection

Jia Jiang had a fear of rejection. The idea of hearing ‘no’ created an overwhelming feeling, but rather than letting that own him, Jia steered into it. He made it a mission to hear ‘no’ every day for 100 days in a row to see if making it a regular thing would help him overcome the fear.

He made crazy requests, like asking for a free burger refill, or the staff at a restaurant could sing him ‘happy birthday’ even though it wasn’t his birthday and he wasn’t eating there. In hearing ‘no’ every day, he learned rejection wasn’t actually that bad.

With every silly ask he had, the questions got more adventurous, increasing the chances of rejection. The 100 days, which are all on YouTube, showcased the communication confidence that grew through the journey. On day 1 Jia ran away after asking the question. On day 10, he would ask ‘why not?’. His confidence grew to extend the interaction, further exposing him to rejection, and also have some fun with it.

The Nano Concept

For 100 days Jia Jiang performed a nano speech. This is the most simple form of public speaking — a 10 second structured conversation that means you open effectively, deliver your message, and hand over to the other person. But the nano speech doesn’t have to just relate to public speaking.

Life advice often starts with ‘throw yourself in the deep end’, and I think that is horrible advice. Everything I have ever got better at, including overcoming my fear of public speaking 10 years ago, was done by showing up little and often. Small actions every day that collectively compound into a big action. This is exactly what Jia Jiang did with his 100 days of rejection.

It can mean intentionally being uncomfortable for a short period of time every day, but it really can be a short time. For the nano speech, 10 seconds is all it takes to say, ‘I have been reading a book lately, I like it for this reason, what are you reading?’. It might be uncomfortable, but it is over quickly. That is the power of little and often. The daily habit focused on only one thing is your way to build successful reps doing the thing that is out of your comfort zone. Those successful reps create confidence. Confidence is success remembered.

The Hardest Part: Steering into the Skid

It sounds easy when you hear the story of someone else doing it, but it doesn’t always make it easy to start. Before you can start building successful reps you have to take the plunge and steer into the skid. So, how do you get started when it feels like the worst thing ever?

Find ‘your comfortable’ scenario.

In other words, what is the most frictionless way for you to get started? And then how can you quickly follow up again with another rep to start creating the foundations?

Making those early reps as easy as possible for you to implement is the key to getting started. Think about the environment, your knowledge, and the mode of communication. When you find the intersection of the three you have your most comfortable scenario. This is where your first 5–10 reps should stay. It will help cement the foundations before scaling up.

The scale up comes by changing only one aspect at a time. Maybe you don’t need a full 100 days program, but little and often is the foundation you need to break the uncomfortableness of the racing heart and sweaty palms.

Actionable takeaways

  • Create a challenge for yourself with an end date. The end date gives you a target, and keeps it in focus to create your foundations. Find your own 100 days of rejection.

  • Start in your comfortable scenario. Throwing yourself in the deep end creates a negative experience. Start small and scale up from there.

  • Set your own expectations based on where you are at right now. Don’t take on expectations from other people, or compare yourself to others — it will make the challenge harder.

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Liam Sandford
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